victim of circumstance

“Make your world smaller”

Katsumi — Sat, 29 May 2010 13:27:18 +0000

I love Dear Margo [the original "Dear Prudie"]. ‘Nuff said.

This particular message to her resonates with me strongly, as sure as I am that others feel the same. People often get on me when I get into my “down” moments, when I’m usually fairly optimistic/idealistic in general (I am a cynical dreamer, after all), but I do succumb to issues like what is seen below–mostly because I do care about humanity enough that I would get–how do I say, annoyed?– that more and more people seem to be becoming a$$holes. You catch my drift [I hope]. I’ll let the letter and Margo’s response suffice for the rest of my pseudo-analytical commentary, by highlighting some points I think are ‘key’ [or otherwise noteworthy] –>

Dear Margo: The past few years, I’ve noticed an increase in qualities I don’t think are positive for the human species. Respect seems to be diminishing. Materialism, hate and selfishness are pervading society. You see this in many different aspects, whether it’s politics or the news.

Normally, I wouldn’t be writing about something like this, but lately it’s really affected me. I’m losing faith in the goodness of people, and it’s depressing me. I was never like this before. I was an optimistic person and tried to see the good qualities in people, even if I found them less than appealing. Now I find myself closed off more often, and my optimism is faltering. It’s much harder for me to trust people or even try to find their good qualities. I’m often preoccupied with sadness and worry that the future of humans is in doubt. I no longer want children because I fear for their futures. Logic says I’m being ridiculous, but I can’t stop how I feel, and it’s affecting my daily life. I need some advice. — P.K.

Dear P.: Funny, I periodically have your thoughts, but I basically will myself back. There is, indeed, a definite lack of civility, which some people are trying to address. There are also more crazy people, and the world can seem very threatening. The country is polarized, and “anything goes” seems to have overtaken earlier values.

I would say to you what someone said to me when I felt overwhelmed considering all the programs and charities needing help. No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. Seek out and concentrate on people doing things you admire and behaving in ways you approve of. There really are good people who are not just out for themselves. Don’t give up on everybody because you have been disappointed. I really believe that if you change your focus and accept that some of life has gone haywire, your depression will fade. As someone said on Twitter, “Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.” — Margo, attitudinally

Are Lady GaGa and like ilk responsible for corrupting our youth… ?

Katsumi — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 05:49:24 +0000

(As a preface[?], I can’t believe how long the article/page is. o_X;)

Saw a link to this on my friend Cassie’s FB, and without rehashing the previous comments in the thread, here are my responses to it:

I’m fairly certain this was taken from a different person/source, but this is the text she included with the link (re: MP slams Lady Gaga in bizarre, sexually explicit speech to Parliament) –

“Lady Gaga is to blame for girls being raped because girls will try to emulate her and will be asking for it, so you really can’t blame those poor rapists…it isn’t their fault they raped someone, it’s Lady Gaga’s.”

My first (original) comment–

I could think of a whole slew of “less savory” women to be concerned over being bad influences than Lady Gaga. X_o;

My second (subsequent, as in “afterthought”.. *wink*) comment–

Oh, and while I do share concerns over the media and its “newfound” (relatively speaking, re: last 10 years or more) role in more or less socializing young children, teens, etc… While, if you believe in certain things strongly enough, go ahead and advocate for it in whatever way— but, the thing is, ultimately the power rests in “YOUR” hands so to speak.

I fully believe in (among others) the saying “You are what you eat” (forgot specific saying I wanted to use), pretty much implying practice what you preach. What I mean is, you set an example by embodying it. (Blah, lateness=butchering English language.) Ah, leading by example.

Anyway, point is, yes media is a huge influence, but IMO a far stronger force is exerted by family or your peer groups or whathaveyou. You should never feel afraid to express yourself without a fear of some form of retribution by others. Perhaps easier said than done, but its true, and should never back off just because “everyone doesn’t do it” or whatever.

Getting off my soapbox now, before I ramble on into oblivion. ha.

(Original article can be found here.)

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/mp-slams-lady-gaga-in-bizarre-sexually-explicit-speech-to-parliament/story-e6freuy9-1225843219258

Social Needs, Alzheimer’s, and “Dear Prudie”

Katsumi — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 06:43:23 +0000

I don’t always agree with the current “Dear Prudie” on Slate.com (as I often feel she’s too quick to judge the people who are writing to her for advice), but for once in a long while, I agreed with a particular response she wrote. I even re-read the answer and the original question a few times, letting it soak in nice and good so I could ponder it fully without coming to snap conclusions.

Normally, I wouldn’t quite support the idea that I write about below, since I really do believe in the whole “in sickness and in health” component of marriage vows… but with Alzheimer’s, it’s a bit trickier since the person you married (or who married you–depending on who’s the afflicted and which one isn’t) is no longer the person they were when you met each other and when you married them. It’s definitely a lot more taxing than other chronic and/or terminal illnesses (however, not to discount the impact other illnesses leave).

A man wrote in to “Dear Prudie”, asking the following:

I have a married female friend. She and I were teen sweethearts (no sex involved) who lost touch when I left for military service. We have since reconnected and realize we love each other deeply. Her husband has Alzheimer’s, and even before it struck, he was not very interested in sex and had problems performing, so sex has been out of her life for many years. She is a vibrant, sensual woman with a strong sex drive and laments not having a partner. We are principled people, and it would be unfathomable for her to leave her husband, who requires her care. We are not intimate now but want to know, is it permissible for a woman to indulge her sexual needs with a man she loves since she cannot get that satisfaction within the confines of her marriage?

“Dear Prudie” responded with an opening remark on Sandra Day O’Connor’s now late husband. He was afflicted with Alzheimer’s for about 20 years before his death, and as a result of his memory loss, formed new attachments including a romantic interest in a fellow patient at the institution he was being cared for in. It was hard on the family, but both the family and herself were humane and relieved enough to celebrate it, seeing how much contentment it brought him considering the impact that the illness (obviously) had on himself.

What made me agree with her wasn’t entirely so much all that, but the fact she then said, “I would hope anyone would understand that a healthy spouse should be extended the same compassion”.

I understand those who express disgust with the situation presented, perhaps because it seems that the writer(s) are asking permission to have a sexual free-for-all (although nor are they strangers carrying on an illicit emotional or physical affair already)… but on the same hand, who are we to judge unless we can at the very least imagine ourselves in those people’s shoes? The wife of the man is not neglecting to take care of her husband, but in all honesty, those who are faced with these issues are not wrong for craving physical affection (or any romantic/sexual attention) when their partner is no longer able to provide that to them. They are trapped– between someone they still care for very much emotionally, fulfilling their own personal needs, and the rock that is society’s approval or disapproval of the actions they either have or will take to compensate for the fulfillment of their personal needs. This is what gets me. There’s always support of friends or family, true, but anyone would have to be living under said rock if they don’t understand that it doesn’t quite chalk up to the closer intimacy that is entailed in intimate affection as such.

It’s entirely unfair to all parties involved (especially the one whose mind is slowly being sucked away from them), and that’s what we should keep in mind. Alzheimer’s affects more than the afflicted individual–let us not forget it affects their spouses or partners and their wider families. It’s human nature to desire to compensate somehow for what you or anyone else has lost. It does not necessarily make them bad people or denote their actions as bad or wrong.

Whether anybody agrees with this post is their prerogative, but hopefully at least others will understand where I’m coming from on this.

“Advancing the cause of freedom”

Katsumi — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 09:11:35 +0000

A step forward for civil and human rights in America has happened this month when Obama appointed a transgender person by the name of Amanda Simpson to a senior position in the Commerce Department. I, personally, would strictly consider only a person’s educational or other like qualifications in filling a job posting, and not focusing at all on their gender or sexual orientation or their religious beliefs, etc. If somebody has the experience and ability to perform the job requirements, that should be the only thing that matters.

But I am just utterly shocked by the fact conservative right-wing groups such as “Focus on the Family” are raising a stink about how Obama is “pandering to the LGBT activists” and assuming that he will institute a “transgender quota”. I am appalled. I’m almost 100% certain they would cry fowl if a generally Liberal (not necessarily Democrats) group caused an uproar over, say for example, a conservative government allegedly pandered to ‘diehard traditionalists’ if a former KKK anti-Semitic homophobe was appointed to a similar position.

(See source article at http://www.theweek.com/article/index/104721/Obamas_transgender_appointee)

Character = Reputation?

Katsumi — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 20:39:30 +0000

I ran into this quote recently, and I quickly became enamored with it: “Be more concerned with your character vs reputation because character is what you are, reputation is merely what others think you are.”

My friend Haru-chan asked “But what if your character IS your reputation? Good question, eh?”.

I replied with: “Not really. I mean, I get where you’re getting at, but ultimately people are going to think what they want. I thought about this too when I first saw the quote, but then I thought Well, I know an awful lot of people who still get their reputations tarnished due to ignorance/fear/closed-mindedness/etc of their actions/beliefs/yaddayadda“.

Comments are more than welcome. :-) There was more that I wanted to say, but by now I have forgotten.

And on a random closing note…

Did I EVER tell you that you’re my HEEEEE-roooo….

Interesting observations tend to be made when I try to go to bed

Katsumi — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 05:46:40 +0000

I’m reading a novel (“The Doctor’s Wife”, by Elizabeth Brundage — great story so far!), where this woman is married to an OB/GYN who is asked by a former colleague to assist her at a family planning clinic that also does abortions. He gets targeted by pro-lifers during the story. Common arguments made are things like “You can’t go against God’s will–it’s up to him if you become pregnant, up to him if you lose the pregnancy”, etc.

I thought, “Well, if it’s God’s Will, then doesn’t that make him pro-choice? After all, it’s always God’s Will, no?”

I also came to a side conclusion God is a dictator. The world today places so much weight on how dictators are evil people, yet nobody cares if God has absolute dominion over all. *shrugs* But that’s a different story, so to speak.

Snippet from a conversation with my friend Sarah:

“the whole arguments Christians make for being discriminatory, the Crusades, the Inquisition, etc.

is that God made them do it

to which my friend and I say, “Well, then, God’s an asshole.””

I may be atheist, but I subscribe to “The Golden Rule”. It’s so simple, but it works so beautifully.

With some thanks to another friend, John, I paste another conversation snippet I posted which sort of relates to this post, but which was written on a different topic. He had posted on both his Facebook and Twitter this:

“The ultimate rhetorical question: Okay, so what do you Christian-hating commie-pinko socialist leftists want for Christmas, anyway?”

When I initially responded via Twitter, I said “This “Christian-hating commie-pinko socialist leftist” wants ‘world peace’. ;-)” He responded to me with “~LOL~ Hey, so did Jesus~ :) Sorry many Christians lost sight of that along the years and gave the movement a deserved BAD name!” and “As you know I’m making fun of the hate for Christ but the love of CHRISTmas … the best of Christmas is the worst of Christ.“. This segues into the response I later posted to him on Facebook, but first let me say he is head-on with his response.

“John, you’re the best example of a Christian I have seen in a long time, aside from my boyfriend. Unfortunately, it’s always the idiots and extremists who give various religions or groups or whathaveyou around the world a bad name. Your friend Teresa (Tutt) is head-on with the remark about mistaking Jesus for his followers. Too many self-described “Christians” are that way, and it’s sad.

I am pained every time I see someone make gross generalizations and stereotypes about people who aren’t like them (not saying you do, just a general observation). Muslims have such a bad rap just because the extremist minority of that religion partake in terrorist activities, for example.

People have to keep in mind to not judge a book by its cover. It’s one of many sayings I live by in my daily life. I judge people individually, rather than the social group(s) (so to speak) that they are categorized in….

I’m an atheist, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Personally, I abide by “The Golden Rule”, a short but simple philosophy that guides me to be the good person I aim to be.”

Sorry for the tangent. :-) I ended up deviating from what this post opened with, but all of what is said here boils down to the same thing, in my view. The point is that everyone should simply strive to be the best person they can be. Nobody is perfect, the world as a whole certainly isn’t, life sucks a lot, but you know what? That’s no excuse to not try for something better, no excuse to lose hope, or… yes, ‘faith’.

Commuter Rail: Once a gamble, TRAX ingrained in Wasatch Front’s future

Katsumi — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 20:32:20 +0000

I always remain baffled why people would fervently oppose commuter rail or light rail initiatives. Is it just the initial investment expense, or is it something else too? Usually the #1 reason cited is the initial cost to build out the system; of course, building out a system no matter what it’s for is expensive (one of many cases in point is the emergence of the cellular phone industry). People fail to see the long-term on things of economic significance, failing to realize how their actions today affect the future.

One thing I had never seen until now (mentioned in the cited article) are people protesting with signs saying things like “Light rail kills children”. WTF, seriously? What about civilian vehicles? What about crossing an intersection on foot? What about stupid children who play on railroad tracks as a freight train is coming down the track? And so on.

That day, though, thousands of people crowded the then-Delta Center station to ride the trains along the 17-mile route — so many that the inaugural kinks included stranded people, trains stopped in the middle of tracks and hundreds turned away.

It was a hit, Inglish said.

“That was so heartwarming, to see the community embrace this new alternative, this change,” Allegra said.

I found it interesting that despite all the massive opposition to the TRAX system in Utah, it turned out to be hugely embraced by the community.

My favourite quote of the article is this one: “You won’t need a car, but you’ll still want to have one,” Inglish said, adding the best transit solution is a mixture of both. This is something I have always stood steadfast on. The best way to solve congestion issues is by expanding the public transportation options, increasing service times and hours of operation, and expanding the reach of all the modes used, combined with increased support for pedestrians and bicyclists and the usage of a private vehicle.

The article goes on to discuss the supposed American love affair with vehicles. I love driving, but I also like not having to deal with heavy traffic or seriously stupid people on the roads. One of the things I like when I take public transit is being able to do something productive while not having to worry about dealing with traffic. Supporting investment in public transit also helps reduce consumer’s transportation costs, which is something I find very nice.

(Original article can be found here.)

Hand air dryers vs paper towels

Katsumi — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 05:54:58 +0000

I was reading a news article on Yahoo, and noticed an ad by Georgia-Pacific touting the virtues of paper towels in helping to combat bacteria after washing hands. Of course, nothing has been officially proven no matter what drying method is looked at, but I’ll personally stick to choosing air dryers over paper towels, kind of like how I would choose paper towels over cloth ones.

All require energy, but as one user commented in this article, “Energy is only one measurement. There is also the fact that paper towels have to come from trees, have to be transported, stocked and cleaned up after and finally end up in land fills after just one short use.”

And as noted by The Straight Dope, “Assuming the same five-year life span, Environmental Resources Management estimates paper towel production generates 35 percent more acid rain and 286 percent more greenhouse gas emissions.”

Gotta love companies’ marketing teams. ;-)

Things people tend to misinform about/blow out of proportion

Katsumi — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 05:58:33 +0000

I am no vaccination cheerleader, but misinformation is misinformation, no matter what side you’re on.

I happened to look this up while reading an article about “fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva”, since it sounded familiar and as I recalled was blown out of proportion to be poisonous. Then I remembered where I had heard this, on an anti-vaccination group.

I was sort of floored when I read the information on it, as it’s said to be a natural and vital part in synthesizing cholesterol, steroid hormones, and vitamin D in the human body.

*sighs*

1st grader faced reform school for carrying Cub Scout tool into school

Katsumi — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 05:18:22 +0000

I understand the school district’s policy, but as some quoted in the article noted, they need to look at age, maturity, intent, situation…. “bring in the teachers who know the child or the principal, and allow them to make the first call”. His principal and actual teachers wanted to stick up for the boy.

I totally understand kids shouldn’t get preferential status because of race, class, gender, and so on…. but this wasn’t about classifications. There still, at the very least, needs to be *some* discretion so the consequences fit the totality of the circumstances.

A short suspension, at the most, would have sufficed, IMO. 45 days of reform school, in his case, just did not fit his infraction given his history and character.

Zero tolerance policies don’t seem to be as effective as we all wish they would. In an ideal world, it would. But it just isn’t right to apply the same exact punishment to two different children who may have wildly different character and histories, and who committed two wildly different infractions.

(Original article can be found here.)